Sometimes I wish that we could keep all those things and people we love, indefinitely. I suppose we can, to some degree. I mean they have a show all about people that hold on to things (Hoarders) Ha! I have things that I’ve kept that are very special to me and I am attached to them because of their significance, but when it comes to people, I try ohh so very hard to practice “detachment.”
Through my relationships and learning from life and my readings, I’ve learned what creates the most amount of suffering is if we are too attached to anything. Fears typically create attachments, because on a subconscious level we think that if we can cling on to something, it will stay. It will keep us safe. And when it leaves, we are crushed. Devastated. Angry. And we will typically do it all over again or avoid getting attached to anything and anyone, altogether, out of fear of being hurt again.
I am still attached to my family and friends. I give space and understand that we all have our lives and cannot be at each other’s beck and call every moment, but the current of love and support is always there and that is what I stay connected to regardless, even if weeks or months go by without seeing each other. The current of love and support remains.
Detachment in work can be easy for some hard for others. Many of us are very attached to our jobs and the income we receive. Without it, well, it can be freighting. I noticed a couple years ago when people were losing their homes, how that experienced shifted consciousness in a way like I haven’t seen for some time. People began to re-prioritize and scale back and learned to do without. All valuable and a practice of detachment to some degree.
Detachment is harder to practice in relationships. We typically want something from the other person and if our needs aren’t met we begin to control, lash out or leave. Sometimes we are lucky and attract partners that we grow with and have the support, harmony and love that is lasting, but most of us have to have a couple experiences before we attract that kind of love. And even if we are in a healthy and supportive relationship, the attachment to losing the person can come up.
I’ve learned to not be attached to anything in relationships. I have expectations for myself and hold on to what I want, but being attached to any sort of outcome, for me, creates suffering. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are and understand that we all have the ability to grow and change, but some people choose not to. Love is a choice. We do, to some degree, choose who we love (to quote my brother-in-law). I never in my life thought I would love so many people I encounter, but what I realize is that through my experiences I have learned unconditional love in a way that I can love everyone, genuinely, and be “in love,” simultaneously. I am constantly grateful for all that I have because I know that tomorrow is another day and things can change and people and things can move in and out of your life. If we’re lucky, they stay around, though.
So, this month, I ask you to let go a little bit. Love people to the degree that you accept them for who they are, exactly as they are with no other expectations of them being any different. Give people the space to grow and support them with love and detachment. Love yourself enough to focus on your wants and needs and do those things that support that path.
To help with the process, let me recommend a product that you might just love: 7th Chakra Spray – Light from Life Aromatherapy.
This spray is one of my favorites and smells like something other worldly.
A little music for inspiration:
- Bright Eyes – Easy, Lucky, Free
- Portugal the Man – Let You Down (my new crush)
- The Civil Wars – Poison & Wine
I hope this month brings you all those things and people that make you feel good. Let’s focus on loving, acceptance and detachment and see what happens. Sound good.
I love you, all. MWAH!
Carrie